Quintessentially fascinating, love intrigues and perplexes us, and drives much of what we do in life. As wary as we may be of its illusions and disappointments, many of us fall blindly into its traps and become ensnared time and again. Deliriously mad excitement turns to disenchantment, if not deadening repetition, and we wonder how we shall ever break out of this vicious cycle.Can psychoanalysis with ample assistance from philosophers, poets, novelists, and songwriters give us a new perspective on the wellsprings and course of love? Can it help us fathom how and why we are often looking for love in all the wrong places, and are fundamentally confused about what love really is?In this lively and wide-ranging exploration of love throughout the ages, Fink argues that it can. Taking within his compass a vast array of traditions from Antiquity to the courtly love poets, Christian love, and Romanticism and providing an in-depth examination of Freud and Lacan on love and libido, Fink unpacks Lacans paradoxical claim that love is giving what you dont have. He shows how the emptiness or lack we feel within ourselves gets covered over or entwined in love, and how it is possible and indeed vital to give something to another that we feel we ourselves dont have.This first-ever commentary on Lacans Seminar VIII,Transference, provides readers with a clear and systematic introduction to Lacans views on love. It will be of great value to students and scholars of psychology and of the humanities generally, and to analysts of all persuasions.

Preface vii

Introduction 1

The Symbolic

I. Freudian Preludes: Love Triangles 9Obsessives in Love Hysterics in Love

II. Freudian Conundrums: Love Is Incompatible with Desire 16Where They Love They Do Not Desire Where They Desire They Do Not Love On Women, Love, and Desire Too Little Too Much

III. Lacans Reading of Platos Symposium 33Love Is Giving What You Dont Have Not Having and Not Knowing Love as a Metaphor: The Signification of Love The Miracle of Love Love in the Analytic Context

The Imaginary

IV. Freudian Preludes: Narcissism 55Narcissism and Love Love for the Ego-Ideal

V. Lacans Imaginary Register 62Animals in the Imaginary Animals in Love The Formative Role of Images in Human Beings The Mirror Stage The Image We Love More Than Ourselves: The Ideal Ego The Myth of Narcissus Sibling Rivalry Lacans Beloved: Crimes of Passion Family Complexes Transitivism The  Intrusion (or Fraternal) Complex and the Solipsistic Ego Love and Psychosis The Dangers of Imaginary-Based Love Imaginary Passion in the Analytic Setting

The Real

VI. Love and the Real 93Repetition Compulsion The Unsymbolizable Love at First Sight The Other Jouissance Love Is Real? Love and the Drives Love as a Link

General Considerations on Love

VII. Languages and Cultures of Love 107Dependency (or so-called Natural Love) Attachment Friendship Agape (or Christian Love) Hatred Attraction Fixation on the Human Form (Beauty) Physical Love, Sexual Desire, Lust, Concupiscence, Sex Drive FinAmor (Courtly Love) Romantic Love Falling in Love (à la Stendhal) Other Languages and Cultures of Love

VIII. Reading Plato with Lacan: Further Commentary on Platos Symposium 163The Relationship between Form and Content in the Symposium Homosexual Love as a Simplified Model Phaedrus: Love and Theology Pausanias: The Psychology of the Rich Eryximachus: Love as Harmony Agathons Speech Socrates Speech and the In-Between (Metaxú) Love Triangles Revisited The Six Stages of Socrates Speech After Socrates Speech The Mystery of the Relationship between Socrates and Alcibiades Socrates Interpretation Socrates Mistake Parting Shot

IX. Some Possible Conclusions about Love 200Unanswered Questions Love and Psychoanalysis

Notes 207

References 236

Index 246