A classical music aficionado and concert-goer bemoans the degradation of civility and respect among his fellow audience members. He develops a series of measures to counteract the prevalence of inconsiderate noise-making in the stalls. Resisting his erstwhile partner's appeals for moderation and restraint, his tactics and approaches grow in extremity.

Part of the Storycuts series, this short story was previously published in the collectionThe Lemon Table.

Julian Barnesis the author of twelve novels, includingThe Sense of an Ending, which won the 2011 Man Booker Prize for Fiction. He has also written three books of short stories, four collections of essays and two books of non-fiction,Nothing to be Frightened Ofand theSunday Timesnumber one bestsellerLevels of Life. In 2017 he was awarded the Légion d'honneur.