Well, what would you do - if you were a bored sour-grape schoolteacher with an accessible but quite unattractive bird called Nora Schwindlingfisch and the secret service suddenly recruited you? Run like hell! But what if they won't let you . . . . . . not if you happen to speak fluent Russian and look the spitting image of a British spy in Russia. Before you can so much as yelp you're trained and off on an iron-curtain mission - with a brassy, mountainous blonde called Crystal as your 'wife' . . . This is the saga of reluctant-spy Brown on his hair-raising secret assignment - besieged by vast hungry women, cradled by danger, scared stiff and browned off with the whole thing . . .