Best-selling parenting guru Michele Borba, the mother of three, has surveyed 5,000 mothers for their experience and wisdom in raising happier, more confident kids by returning to a more natural, authentic kind of mothering. She shares 12 top secrets of successful moms culled from her research and shows how to apply them to your family.

Youll learn how to

Apply the 12 essential principles that child experts and 5,000 parents say matter most in good motheringRaise children with confidence, resilience, and characterCreate a customized mothering plan and use it so it leads to success with your childCut the guilt and reduce the stress by sticking to what really counts in parenting good kids todayDiscover simple ways to make big differences in your familys life

Michele Borba, Ed.D., recipient of the National Educator Award, is the author ofNobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me; Don't Give Me That Attitude!; No More Misbehavin'; Parents Do Make a Difference; andBuilding Moral Intelligence, all from Jossey-Bass. She appears regularly on talk shows, including theToday show,The View, andThe Early Show. Visit her on the Web at www.micheleborba.com.

Acknowledgments xi

Note to the Reader xiv

Introduction: What is a Real Mom? 1

Part One How Can a Real Mom Give Her Children Love That Lasts for Always? 17

Chapter One From the Sacrificial Mom to the Child Who Can Thrive Without You 19

Chapter Two What is a Real Mom These Days? 23

Chapter Three Why Being a Sacrificial Mom is Bad for Your Kids 33

Chapter Four Can Our Kids Make It on Their Own? 45

Part Two The 12 Simple Secrets of Real Mothering 59

Real Moms Secret 1 A Mother Who Loves Teaches Worth 61

Real Moms Secret 2 A Mother Who is Firm and Fair Gives Her Children a Moral Code to Live By 77

Real Moms Secret 3 A Mother Who Listens Shows Her Children They Matter 93

Real Moms Secret 4 A Mother Who is a Good Role Model Gives Her Children an Example Worth Copying 107

Real Moms Secret 5 A Mother Who Teaches Values Inspires Character 125

Real Moms Secret 6 A Mother Who Supports Her Childrens Strengths Builds Their Confidence 143

Real Moms Secret 7 A Mother Who Encourages Independence Cultivates Self-Reliance 161

Real Moms Secret 8 A Mother Who Applauds Effort Nurtures Perseverance 177

Real Moms Secret 9 A Mother Who Accepts Her Childrens Shortcomings Nurtures Resilience 193

Real Moms Secret 10 A Mother Who Takes Time for Her Children Helps Them Build Strong Relationships 213

Real Moms Secret 11 A Mother Who Laughs Teaches Joy 231

Real Moms Secret 12 A Mother Who Takes Care of Herself Holds Together Her Happy Family 249

The Last Word 269

References 271

About the Author 283